My Neighborhood Gang

Koko. Mvelo. Xoli. Siya. Paul. Khetha. Mandisa. Lucky. Ayabonga. Lulama. Lusanda. Ba (girl) and Ba (boy).

These are the kids that run to greet me when I come home. They are the kids that fill my otherwise empty evenings with vicious crafting sessions, confusing games, spelling contests, math challenges and homework help. These kids are my tiny friends, my neighbourhood gang. They drive me insane and keep me sane at the same time, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

For the first 8+ months, I was cautious in my neighbourhood, unsure of who-was-who and if it was really ok to wander up to kids and invite them to down to the soccer grounds to play. My uncertainty and hesitation are completely gone now.

It all started with the girls, Mvelo and Xoli. Mvelo is one of the most precocious Grade 6 girls I have ever met. She has sass, a personality that crosses language barriers. Mvelo, who’s her full name means ‘nature’, was the perfect kid to befriend first. Her older sister Xoli is in Grade 9, and equally awesome. As the oldest girl in her family, Xoli is responsible for looking over her youngest sister, Ba. Ba is two years old and a total handful. She keeps Xoli busy, but luckily Xoli has a calmness about her that makes her the perfect person to handle the heavy burden of basically being a mother at 14. Their actual mother is home, but never really home. Although normal here and in many households around the world, it still irks me to see Xoli have to step up and be a mother for her sister. She deserves time for homework, friends, and most importantly, play. Despite the extra responsibilities, Xoli manages to do very well in school, be smart with boys, and enjoy her free time. She is a gem.

 I started helping Mvelo and Xoli with their homework after I asked them to tutor me in isiZulu. Turns out they made horrible formal tutors, but were great girls to hang out with and learn bits and pieces of isiZulu from. Their homework is ridiculous, barely legible for a fluent English speaker, let alone someone learning the language. I am convinced Mvelo is learning more advanced math than I can handle, so I mostly help out with life sciences and English homework. I also have been helping everyone out with their spelling, which is painfully bad. We work on isiZulu and English words, breaking down syllables and learning tricks to master of the English language’s more pesky words.

Math games have also become very popular. I’ll ask the group or one person a simple math problem, watching them count on their fingers, beat the air as they struggle to figure it out, and finally thrust their hands in the air calling “Thandi, Thandi!” One boy in particular, Koko, was a math superstar yesterday. Koko is moody, too violent for his age, and constantly being smacked by adults for trouble making. Although one of my more challenging tiny friends, Koko nailed nearly every math problem I asked, grinning from ear to ear each time I gave him a high five for a correct answer. I’m pretty sure we were both high on life after that.

I can’t quantify the impact of my time with these kids. I can’t measure how much more English they know, or if they’ve developed leadership and communication skills in some meaningful way. What I say is this—I am lucky to have these kids in my neighborhood. I keep trying to come up with alternative fun or education games, and ways to keep them from beating each other up or just making each other feel small and stupid. Some days go really well and some days their energy and love of wrestling is exhausting. Despite the flops, tiredness, and energy it takes to herd, calm and soothe these kids, I never regret saying, “Ok, I’m coming” when they come up to the wall around my house, begging me to play.

Koko, Mvelo, Xoli, Siya, Paul, Khetha, Mandisa, Lucky, Ayabonga, Lulama, Lusanda and Ba (girl) and Ba (boy)—siayabonga kakhulu/thank you very much, my friends.