Thanking the Ancestors

A typical Sunday at site involves doing washing for the week, a bit of cleaning, a lot of cooking, too many TV shows, and very little contact with anyone besides the kids. Sunday is my day for chilling, preparing for the week, and catching up with folks back home. I rarely make proper plans.

Two weeks ago, I had a very unusual Sunday. My friend Allie was visiting from Weenen, a rural township three-taxi rides away from Ezakheni. I secured a lift to Estcourt for her, so she could get direct transport back to Weenen. My supervisor had to attend a family function in Estcourt, and was happy to help Allie (aka Ayanda) get home.

That was the plan, anyway.

While securing this list, we were both invited to attend a family function in Estcourt. Partly out of obligation, and partly out of genuine interest, we accepted. The new plan was for us to leave for Estcourt after Baba Mazibuko finished church in Ladysmith at 11am. Allie would be at the event until 2:30, when she’d make her way to her taxi.

Plan B didn’t go exactly as planned. 

We arrived to Estcourt a bit late, where it became clear that Allie would have to stay for the main events—food and the thanking of the ancestors—which were several hours off. Luckily, Nelly (my supervisor’s wife), was a lovely host and made us feel at home right away. We met lots of friendly people and family members as they filtered past out seats on the couch, watched nearly all of J. Cole’s Top 20 Hip-Hop Videos on MTV Base, and drank cider from can (usually taboo for women), and ate delicious food.

To adapt this traditional Zulu event for a middle-class urban environment, the men all say in the garage, which represented the animal corral. In rural communities, only men are allowed near or inside of the corral. At Nelly’s home, the guys came and went, bring platters of meat and packs of beer into the garage. They were all very nice and welcoming, but didn’t hang out in the house. We were all there for uSolo, who recently got a new job. To thank the ancestors for his good luck, the family slaughtered a goat. This is very typical for families who experience good luck (jobs, births, etc.) or who want to appease the ancestors after particularly bad luck (poor health, no work, being cursed with bad luck, etc.). The maidens (young and unmarried women), the married women, and the men all sat in different sections of the house. Allie and I should have sat in a bedroom with the maidens (all women in their teens and 20s), but were instead ushered to the dining room table to eat alone. It was pretty funny. We were served first, but had to watch as everyone continued to dish out the meal around us. “Should we start eating?” “Is it more rude to wait or start to eat?” As usual, navigating a cultural event, no matter how laid back, is always a mix of hilarious and a touch awkward. Out momentary uncertainty was just that, momentary. Nelly’s food was delicious and Allie’s company was great.

One of the sober guys, Siphiso, gave Allie a lift to town to catch her taxi. When I got back to the house, the married women invited me to take part in thanking the ancestors. We listed the platters of goat meat into the air and repeated words of thanks in isiZulu. It was simple and nice. Ceremony over; ancestors thanked.

After the meal the maidens joined me in front of the TV for a painfully bad Nigerian movie, more hard ciders, and gossip. It was really difficult to figure out who was a member of the family, who was a cousin, a friend or a neighbor, but it mattered less as the afternoon evening wore on. Nelly and Baba Mazibuko have a very relaxed and pleasant home.  People and family caught up and enjoyed themselves. Kids wandered around, the only ones truly able to mingle. While it is still very strange for me to spend entire functions separated from the men, I had a really good time getting to know Nelly’s daughter, her friend, and Sne, the baby mama of one of the brother-cousin’s. Yes, it’s that confusing!

Baba Mazibuko and I left at around 8pm with Siphiso (Nelly’s son and our trusty driver) and Nomfundo (Nelly’s adopted daughter), both of whom now live and work in Ladysmith. It was late by the time we dropped them off at their Auntie’s house in Ladysmith and made it back to Ezakheni. I accomplished none of my usual Sunday tasks, but went to bed tired but happy. 

It was a good, unexpected Sunday. 

My Neighborhood Gang

Koko. Mvelo. Xoli. Siya. Paul. Khetha. Mandisa. Lucky. Ayabonga. Lulama. Lusanda. Ba (girl) and Ba (boy).

These are the kids that run to greet me when I come home. They are the kids that fill my otherwise empty evenings with vicious crafting sessions, confusing games, spelling contests, math challenges and homework help. These kids are my tiny friends, my neighbourhood gang. They drive me insane and keep me sane at the same time, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

For the first 8+ months, I was cautious in my neighbourhood, unsure of who-was-who and if it was really ok to wander up to kids and invite them to down to the soccer grounds to play. My uncertainty and hesitation are completely gone now.

It all started with the girls, Mvelo and Xoli. Mvelo is one of the most precocious Grade 6 girls I have ever met. She has sass, a personality that crosses language barriers. Mvelo, who’s her full name means ‘nature’, was the perfect kid to befriend first. Her older sister Xoli is in Grade 9, and equally awesome. As the oldest girl in her family, Xoli is responsible for looking over her youngest sister, Ba. Ba is two years old and a total handful. She keeps Xoli busy, but luckily Xoli has a calmness about her that makes her the perfect person to handle the heavy burden of basically being a mother at 14. Their actual mother is home, but never really home. Although normal here and in many households around the world, it still irks me to see Xoli have to step up and be a mother for her sister. She deserves time for homework, friends, and most importantly, play. Despite the extra responsibilities, Xoli manages to do very well in school, be smart with boys, and enjoy her free time. She is a gem.

 I started helping Mvelo and Xoli with their homework after I asked them to tutor me in isiZulu. Turns out they made horrible formal tutors, but were great girls to hang out with and learn bits and pieces of isiZulu from. Their homework is ridiculous, barely legible for a fluent English speaker, let alone someone learning the language. I am convinced Mvelo is learning more advanced math than I can handle, so I mostly help out with life sciences and English homework. I also have been helping everyone out with their spelling, which is painfully bad. We work on isiZulu and English words, breaking down syllables and learning tricks to master of the English language’s more pesky words.

Math games have also become very popular. I’ll ask the group or one person a simple math problem, watching them count on their fingers, beat the air as they struggle to figure it out, and finally thrust their hands in the air calling “Thandi, Thandi!” One boy in particular, Koko, was a math superstar yesterday. Koko is moody, too violent for his age, and constantly being smacked by adults for trouble making. Although one of my more challenging tiny friends, Koko nailed nearly every math problem I asked, grinning from ear to ear each time I gave him a high five for a correct answer. I’m pretty sure we were both high on life after that.

I can’t quantify the impact of my time with these kids. I can’t measure how much more English they know, or if they’ve developed leadership and communication skills in some meaningful way. What I say is this—I am lucky to have these kids in my neighborhood. I keep trying to come up with alternative fun or education games, and ways to keep them from beating each other up or just making each other feel small and stupid. Some days go really well and some days their energy and love of wrestling is exhausting. Despite the flops, tiredness, and energy it takes to herd, calm and soothe these kids, I never regret saying, “Ok, I’m coming” when they come up to the wall around my house, begging me to play.

Koko, Mvelo, Xoli, Siya, Paul, Khetha, Mandisa, Lucky, Ayabonga, Lulama, Lusanda and Ba (girl) and Ba (boy)—siayabonga kakhulu/thank you very much, my friends. 

New Projects: ZAZI Girls Club and Computer Class

ZAZI Girls Club 
“Recent research and statistics suggest the need for a renewed focus on sexual and reproductive health for women and girls in South Africa. Teenage pregnancy, the relatively low uptake of contraceptive services, and women’s vulnerability to HIV and STIs and other critical issues prompted SANAC Women’s Sector to partner with USAID/JHUHIV, PEPFAR, DWCPD, DOH, and DSD to create a national campaign to champion women’s health, rights, and empowerment. The campaign was officially launched in May 2013” (ZAZI 2013).

“The ZAZI campaign encourages women and girls to draw on their inner strength, power, and self-confidence to know themselves and what they stand for in order to guide their decisions about their future. The campaign has advocacy, mass media and community mobilisation activities. The ZAZI campaign was designed by women for women, and seeks to help women ‘know their strength’” (ZAZI 2013).

...

Phindile, Wendy, Zikhona and I have begun a weekly group using the ZAZI campaign’s 10-session toolkit for women’s sexual and reproductive health. Ezakheni Township’s first ZAZI Girls Club has 18 Grade 10 and 11 learners from Ekukhuleni High School. The girls are 15-19-years-old, on the younger side for the programme, but nonetheless eager to participate in the campaign. I’ve adapted some sessions and activities, but for the most part, the toolkit hits on critical issues that affect women and girls of all ages in South Africa.

Sexual and reproductive health should be covered in Life Orientation and Biology classes, but sadly, young men and women have lots of unanswered questions, bad explanations, and not enough reliable sources for sound information. Virginity, sex, and the body are still taboo topics in many ways. For instance, there are no words in isiZulu for female or male genitals. Inside and outside of the classroom, reproductive and sexual health is discussed in vague terms. Enter: the ZAZI campaign. Each session covers relevant topics and information women and girls.

Last week we focused on how the male and female reproductive and sexual health systems actually work, breaking down one body part at a time. Talking about anatomy in a safe space leads to the most surprising questions and discussions. We addressed myths about the body, and social expectations for men and women regarding sex, virginity, parenthood, and sexual expression. (They were obsessed and slightly horrified with how tampons work, even bunking an extra of mine in a cup to watch it absorb water. Most of them have no interest in using tampons, but they were very curious about where they go, how they work or if they affect virginity.)

We are a month into our first ZAZI group. The girls are more cohesive, engaged and motivated with each session. They want to come, learn, and share. Two of my co-facilitators are mothers in their 40s, while Zikhona is 21. We make up an unusual team of facilitators, but somehow it really works. Wednesdays are no longer hump days, but ZAZI days. I can’t wait for next week’s session on life changes, where we’ll cover puberty, menstruation and menopause.

Computer Class

The previous PCV in Ezakheni, Samantha Croffut, organized the donation of 20 computers from the Council of KwaZulu-Natal Jewry in Durban. Yes, that’s right. Jews in Durban donated 20 working computers to Nswelamanzivela Primary School in Ezakheni Township! It is a huge deal for a school to have working a computer lab, a basic computer literacy course for learners or even a computer-literate staff. Thanks to Sam’s efforts, we are tackling all three! After over a year-and-a-half of securing the donations, preparing the room and setting up the computers, the computer lab was officially launched last October.

I would, in no way, consider myself a particularly computer savvy person. Despite this, I offered to help train trainers (aka teach the teachers) basic computer literacy—how the computer works, Word, Excel and Power Point. Lots of PCV have done similar projects, so I had lots of curriculum to draw on when putting together a basic computer literacy course for adults. 

Once Term 1 got underway, I started classes with eight interested teachers (and the principal, when she can make it). We meet after school on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and I’ve got to say, these ladies are fabulous! At first it was a bit daunting to go into a classroom and teach teachers twice my age. By the second week however, their motivation, commitment and humor made our weekly classes the highlight of my week. 

I am so proud of their progress. In just eight sessions they have mastered so many skills. One woman, Mrs. Xaba, is so into the class that she even purchased her own laptop last week. I never expected to be teaching in a computer lab during my Peace Corps service, but it’s been a great project. Once these ladies are confident in their skills, I’ll work with them to develop and launch a feasible computer programme for their learners.

2014 Breakthroughs

Dear Everyone,

There is no getting around it—I need to be in better contact with everyone back home. I have to make more time to share what is happening “this side”. I have neglected my blog, long update emails and even facebook messages for far too long. So to make up for it, I’ve decided to write a few short updates on neat things that have happened over the past few months.

Towards the end of my three-week trip back in December and January, I started to feel intense pressure and anxiety about starting my second year of service. Reflecting on my first year meant acknowledging that time works differently here. I also had to accept that staff changes at work, lack of time and apathy would make some proposed projects not feasible for 2014. Now that I’ve acknowledged these unavoidable constraints and limitations, a weight has been lifted. Given all of this, one more year just suddenly doesn't feel like enough time. I spent much of my first year building relationships and wrapping up the previous volunteer’s projects. I have just over 12 months left in my Peace Corps service, and there is so much left to do.

Around that time, I decided that unless something disrupts my service, I completely and totally want to extend for a third year. I love living and working in Ezakheni, KZN, South Africa. And despite the challenges, frustration, and slow pace of “getting things done”, I love being a Peace Corps Volunteer in South Africa.

I also started working through what I want to do and where I want to be after I return to the States. It has taken me awhile to arrive at this point, but I have decided that I want to return to the States to pursue a Master’s of Social Work. I have been always been inspired by my mother’s work at Sutter and motivated by what I have seen in my township. Social work feels like the natural fit. I have begun looking at six different MSW programs throughout the country. All of the schools currently on my list are outside of California. After moving to South Africa, moving to a different state feels like a great opportunity and the right move. My tentative plan is to study for the GRI and apply for grad school during my third year in South Africa. I hope to begin grad school in Fall 2016.

So, my dear friends and family, this is my current/tentative/feels right plan for the next few years. It I most likely won’t return to the States as planned in March 2015, but will return home with purpose the following spring.

I continue to love the challenge of grassroots-level development, and the unexpected joy that tiny, seemingly insignificant breakthroughs with people can bring. I’m looking forward to 2014 here in Ezakheni, 2015 in someplace new, and hopefully 2016-2018 in a great MSW programme.

Siyabonga kakhulu / thank you very much for all of your support.

Much love,

Hannah / Thandiwe